Doctor Beat

My doctor said the word 'sh*t' in our consultation yesterday - I was quite taken aback but also humbled, because I always always feel the fear before entering a doctor/dentist/nurse's office - and it put me at ease.

I went in armed with my trusty 'Could You Be Diabetic?' leaflets to throw him from waffling on about my weight - I thought if I mentioned it first it would save him the effort of lecturing me, and save me the feeling of worthlessness at the end of the session.

He checked my BP (perfect, suckas) and when I said "I know I'm overweight, you don't have to say anything", he sort of shrugged and said, "What makes you think that?"

To which I said "Well, erm I know I need to lose at least three stone and I'm the wrong side of 25 now and with a history in the family I want to nip any nastiness in the bud before it's too late..."

He said: "OK, well how do you think you will go about this?"
I said: "Eat less, excercise more?"
He said: "Hmmmm..."
I said: "Yeaaaaaahahahahahh."
He: "Well, do you watch Gillian McKeith?"
I: "Hell yeah, I love her!"
He: "Yeah!"
I: "I don't care if she's not a 'real doctor' - she rocks."
He: "Well, actually I don't think it matters if she's a doctor or not - it's all in the results."
I: (silently mouthing) "I love you."
He: "But she scares the sh*t out of me."
I: (thinking): HE SAID SH*T!!

So we waffled about Gillian for a few minutes, in which we both agreed it was pretty much all down to the excercise and not drinking, or eating the crap fats - which we all know anyway, but I can never resist - and I skipped off happy as a bumblebee into the sunset.

Always trust a man, especially a doctor, who swears. And wears red shoes because he's bored of the usual men's selection in shoe shops.

Yeah.

Ps. By the way, it was a routine check-up for the pill, I have them every six months, so nothing untoward to worry about there, I promise.