I was v.v.v.v.v.v. bored today at work so I wrote another one of these. Call it therapy.


100, No 50 more things about me. (Oh ok 100 more things about me)

I have given this task to myself today because my head is bunged up, I feel miserable and all the bosses are out of the office…

I really enjoy scratching my head in my spare time, not in a self-harming tugging my hair out kind of way but just having a good scratch. I’ve always done it. I don’t have lice or anything.


When I was at college I had to back out of a date with the world’s most sexy boy (or so I thought at the time) because I did have head lice. I was 17. He never found out. And yes I did win him back. For about five minutes.

I believe I am the luckiest girl in the world because I have Rocker. When I see him my heart swells with love. I could gush about it but it’s a bit pukey – I just don’t think he knows how much I love him because I can be crappy at expressing myself and showing emotion.

I can be crappy at expressing myself and showing emotion.


I am really lazy and if I could I would spend all day in bed and watching old movies.

I am a Star Wars super-freak and used to dream I was Princess Leia being rescued by a Stormtrooper. Yes, a Stormtrooper, so much shinier that Harrison Ford.


One of the funniest things I read about around September 11 was this story by a journalist who says that when the first plane hit, she ran down into the foyer of the hotel she was staying at from her room, confused as to what was going on – into to the arms of fellow guest, Harrison Ford. She wrote something along the lines of: “I just knew whatever was happening, I would be safe if I stayed with Indiana Jones”. I really hope that’s a true story.

I am currently dripping snot all over my keyboard.

I am really hungry and might get chocolate in a minute.


And I think it surely must be time for a fresh cup of tea.

I drink between 10 – 15 cups of tea a day. I sometimes take sugar, sometimes not. Depending on my mood.


I can be really very boring sometimes.

There are lots of very famous films I have never seen: The Godfather. Platoon, It’s a Wonderful Life. Harvey. Hell, I have the DVD of Citizen Kane but I have never watched it all the way through…

Sometimes my bosses’ use accounting phrases I don’t understand and I never ask them what they mean, as then I would look really stupid.


Sometimes people use long words I don’t understand that I have to look up in the dictionary quickly before I have to admit I don’t understand them.

A wise person (I forget who) once told me; never use a word you don’t understand. So I don’t.


My favourite word is ‘Shenanigan’.

My lucky number is 25. Though I actually doubt whether it is actually lucky.

I broke a mirror about a month ago and am bracing myself for seven years of bad luck. Like I’d be able to tell the difference.

My favourite saying is: “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, then it never was.” I used to quote this to my best friend Lucy all the time as teenage tearaways. We would both nod wisely and say: “That is so true.” Usually after we had been dumped.

We also made up a dance to “I Will Survive”. I still remember the moves.

I have never stolen anything from a store in my life. I’ve always been too scared.

Hold on, I better do a bit of work for a few minutes to keep up appearances…

I’m back now. I have a terrible magazine addiction but have recently cut down considerably from spending about £50+ per week to about £30. For me this is good. Our bedroom is covered on one side in magazines and it drives Rocker nuts. But they did come in handy when our bed broke and they proper it back up. Who was laughing then!

I believe the best therapy is an afternoon watching weepy chick flicks and eating crisps.

I really hate answering the phone. And if my mobile says ‘Private Number’ I never answer it. I always worry it’s someone calling to shout at me for not paying them. Even though I always pay everyone on time.

I love gherkins. But I only really like one brand and they have to be Mrs Elswood Haimisha cucumbers.

I am now thinking about sandwiches – beef & horseradish, salmon & cucumber, salmon & dill, chicken Caesar salad sandwich, ham & mustard, duck in hoi sin sauce, mmmmmmm (*dribble*)


Property programmes are just the best. Especially Relocation, Relocation. But I envy the people on it, getting to buy not one, but two properties.

I dream of owning a holiday home – maybe a cabin in the woods, like the ones in horror movies, where sinister writers always go to finish their novels. Obviously minus the sinister writer though, thanks.


I love the word ‘Sinister’. Note to self: Must use more.

My biggest pet hate is people walking without picking up their feet. That’s not walking, that’s sliding and don’t be so bloody lazy!

I really get driven nuts by screaming children on the bus in the morning. This may make me seem cold and a bit of a non-maternal bitch but it bugs me. (Please note: I do not mean children who are genuinely distressed. I mean brattish, attention-seeking little monsters whose mothers can’t control them, the ones that climb all over the seats and pull people’s hair. Yes, this has happened to me – arrgh)

When I was a mere slip of a girl my ambition was to be a Lollypop lady when I grew up. (This was after the Wonder Woman phase of a few years previously; I had obviously decided to lower my standards). My theory as to why this would be a cool job were: a) You only have to work a few hours everyday, b) you get to jump out into the road and the traffic HAS to stop, c) you get school holidays and finally d) you get to hold up a giant lollypop for crissakes! (I think maybe I believed it was a real giant lollypop…)

I think the Two Ronnies are actually comic geniuses. But my uncle works at Gatwick Airport and he says Ronnie Corbett is a dick.

I have a morbid fear of polo necks and have never truly forgiven my mother for trapping me for hours (seconds) inside a canary yellow polo neck.

I have never had my hair any other colour than red. It’s always stayed within the region of red, even when it’s been practically black. I would love to go blond one day but I’m scared.

Hairdressers terrify me. I always come out with a nuclear mushroom cloud for a hairdo. Once I had my hair cut and straightened at Toni & Guy – that time I felt like a goddess when I left – shame it rained moments later, leaving me looking like a wet dog.

I love swearing. I know it is not very ladylike but I swear all the time, to myself, no-one else. My favourite word is F**k.

When I was young I used to fantasise with my friend Catherine that we’d been adopted and were really princesses.

I am crap at pool. People think I may be pretending to be that crap to lull them into a false sense of security, but alas, no I really am just that crap.

My favourite colour is Pink. I was always told as a child with red hair I couldn’t wear Pink or Red so now I’m an adult I like to overdose on them!

I never really got the whole Princess Di obsession thing. While I will always remember where I was when they announced the news (in a club in London, off my tits) and feel awful that it happened, people seem to forget that she was no saint. And don’t even get me started on the whole Panorama interview…

I think it’s fab that Charles & Camilla can be together now.

Spiders don’t scare me and I always rescue them if I can. I also like to rescue woodlice when I see them on the pavement, in case someone treads on them. This may be the legacy of my Buddhist mother – who believes you should not harm another of God’s creatures, ever.

My favourite album is Yourself or Someone Like You by Matchbox Twenty. I am not sure why but I just love, love, love it.

My favourite ever badge says “Whoop de f**king do”. Tank Girl got it for me recently.

I love badges; they never fail to cheer me up. And they are cheap.

I like cheap things.

I am a cheap date.

Drive Thru and doing it twice is enough to impress me.

I was going to stop at 50 but I may as well battle on.

Whenever Tank Girl reads this website: http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/ - she says it reminds her of me. Like I’m that sarcastic…!

I’ve been wanting to read The Bitch Goddesses Handbook by Martha O’Connor for a while as I heard it was awesome. So I just ordered it off the Internet.

I love reading and wish I could do it more, but Rocker teases me about being a bookworm so I don’t do it enough.

I think I might be a very good gardener but I am too lazy to find out.

Ditto, cooking.

I am banned from the kitchen at home because I am a clumsy oaf who just drops things. I am allowed to make tea though. On my own. Unsupervised.

I wish I’d never got a credit card. They truly are pure unadulterated evil. I thought it was my best friend but it’s actually just stabbed me in the back.

I haven’t bought anything new for a while. Except the new bag I got on Friday, and the book I just ordered… Ho hum

I love being nosey. I hate not knowing what is going on. If I was a neighbourhood cliché, I would be the old woman who twitches the curtains in her house while trying to spy on my neighbours.

I love lists like these. Not my own, but reading other peoples.

This exercise is mostly to keep me awake today and looking busy.

I want my mommy.

I want a hot water bottle and my cuddly Jeremy Fisher.

I hate people who can’t be individual.

I hate music or movie snobs. When I went to the Brighton Film School to do my Cinematography course all the film geeks laughed at me when I said my favourite ever film was The Nightmare Before Christmas. When they were asked they all piped up, in unison: “Goodfellas”. Enough said. (NB: While Goodfellas is indeed a very fine film, there are other films of a superior quality out there boys, open your minds…)

I prefer Goodfellas to Casino. Rocker prefers Casino.

I loved Sharon Stone in Casino.

I prefer Mad Max by far to Mad Max 2. Rocker prefers Mad Max 2.

Rocker calls my DVD collection my ‘Sh*thouse’ collection, as it is predominantly Art house and foreign movies.

I love the film Amores Perros and have bought it for about 3 of my friends. It means Love of Dogs and intertwines the stories of three different characters. I bought it for my brother but he has never watched it. If you get the chance, watch it, it rules.

I have been invited to a wedding in September. This will be my second wedding.

None of my friends are married yet.

I often wonder who will be first.

Not me, I don’t think.

I have three godchildren. Toni, Lucy’s daughter (my ‘official goddaughter’), Ben, my friend Marina’s son (though I haven’t seen them for ages) and Molly, my friend Chrissie’s daughter (who I never see, Tank Girl is also her godmother).

I feel I could be a much better godmother. But people drift apart and don’t see each other for long periods of time, it is hard. Toni is nearly nine. She’s funny and shy and a bit grumpy.

I LOVE grumpy people.

I also love sarcasm. It’s the highest form of wit… (And the lowest form of intelligence, I know, I know)

I miss my cat Matilda. She dies last year. She was fat, smelly and moulted all over the place but she was mine. She got cat AIDS and died. I kid you not.

I never even knew cat AIDS existed, did you?

I have never had a facial. Or a bikini wax.

There is no way I’d be comfortable waving my twinky around in the air. In the name of beauty or otherwise. Ugh.

I am convinced Doctor’s receptionists go to a special rude school to learn how to be so fierce.

I wish I could go there!

I wish I got paid to be rude to customer’s all day. Maybe I should become a dominatrix.

My old friend Lou became a dominatrix. She got paid £80 an hour to beat Chinese businessmen. Nice.

John Waters (Director) used to work in a clothing boutique where his boss used to encourage her staff to be rude to customers. How fabulous.

I believe I can fly.

I believe I can touch the sky.

I really loathe R. Kelly.

I consider myself non-judgemental, while secretly judging others. Celebrities though, not my friends, they can pretty much do anything and I won’t judge their decisions. But Celebrities are there to be torn apart.

I used to worry I was a lesbian because I had no interest in boys and sex. I thought: Well, if I don’t like boys and they don’t like me I must be a lesbian!

And then I used to worry myself sick about how I was going to kiss boys when the time came.

I was ok though.

My first kiss was in Paris, with a Scouser. I forget his name.

I hope I haven’t repeated anything from the last list.

Hurrah! My last one! My last thing about me will be: I lost my virginity to my bicycle – aged about seven. (I’ll allow you to work the rest out…)

(I couldn't be arsed to number them but there are 100)