Big Brother

How sad am I? Even though this years contestants are all unlikeable, petty, pathetic individuals and you can't honestly pick out one that is a decent human being - I am obsessed!

Not nearly as much as last year though, when she-man Nadia won and Victor schnizzle my swizzled his way through 'Fight Night' and The Jungle Cats made no secret of their strategy to win the whole thing - it was eff-ing brilliant!

I sometimes wonder how far I would get on a show like Big Brother. How much of 'yourself' you would actually show. I would never want to do it for the simple reason I don't need the public tearing my personality flaws apart. I already know my flaws thank you very much! Plus being shot on the toilet with your pants around you ankles? Methinks not.

And, no matter how adventurous I may consider myself, forget having nookie on national tv! Not even if I was single. Not even if Tony Soprano himself dragged me like a caveman under a table, no way! Bada Bing me later, Tony!

Which gets to me to this - if you could be in the house with anyone - real / celebrity (dead or alive) - who would you choose? That's you plus eleven others.

This is who I would choose:

Little Ol' Me
Linda Carter (Just so we could do each others hair and stuff)
Jessica Stevenson (She wrote and starred in one of the best ever Brit comedies, Spaced)
My friend Boo (she's hilarious, brainy and sensible!)
Shocking Fish (just because he is fabulous)
Johnny Depp (I'm thinking naked shower time and playing guitar around a fire...)
My brother (I might live to regret that decision)
My friend Jules (He's a peaceful guy, he could keep things sweet)
Barbra Streisand (love her)
Schotzy (she's got stories to tell)
Owen Wilson (He looks like fun)
Jesus Antonio (Ditto!)