Panic in Needle Park

These past few nights I've been having vivid awful dreams. In one, I was married to Dev from Coronation Street, who was a college professor - sleeping with all his students. And we lived in the Swiss Alps, me a desperate housewife. I spent the duration of that dream running around trying to catch him out.

In another, I slept with an up-and-coming hip hop star and spent the whole dream running around making sure no-one was going to tell Rocker what I had done. William H Macy helped and the hip-hop star ended up going off with my sister, Beyonce anyway. I woke feeling dirty and ashamed and so guilty. You know when you get that glorious feeling when you realise it was all just a dream? *Sigh*

So god knows what is up with that. I do know my body is tired and I'm having a sort of mini-midlife crisis within, maybe it's all connected.

I found a lump under my arm a few days ago. A nasty one. Obviously first thought is the Big C and 'oh-my-god-surely-I'm-too-young', all that crap. I'm going to see the doctor on Friday to illiminate that stupid thought. Rocker looked up the symptoms and it is probably, almost definitely benign. Thank god. Am I the only one there who panics like that?

This weekend has been a mixed bag. Coffee with Shocking Fish in the morning and a lecture love you Shocking Fish) about not fulfilling my potential in the job I'm currently doing. Well, yeah. My argument is that not that many people are fulfilled in their jobs and that most of them just do it to pay the bills. I know I should be doing something way more creative but who's going to pay me to be a good people person and write a pile of steaming bollocks about film and celebrities for a living? If anyone finds someone who would potentially pay for doing that, please let me know!

On Sunday a trip to Southend to lay flowers for Nanny Worthing. It was nice to go and see where her ashes are buried and to know she is back in the place she loved most in the world. I really, really miss her.

Did a Magpie and had breakfast at the Little Chef - thankfully there were no incidents with crap managers and I had the Olympic Breakfast which was divine. Then we went to eat cockles at Leigh-on-sea and Rocker bought me a beautiful pink musical teddy bear that plays Braum's Lullaby. Ah, he loves me see.

Slept ungracefully all the way home in the car and then got home for a nice cup of tea and a crumpet.

My whole body aches this morning. My boobs ache and my back hurts and I feel battered and bruised. I think I just need a damn good rest - maybe an entire weekend sleeping or something.
On Saturday I get to catch up with my lovely friend Boo though and I may drag Medieval Girl over to Brighton with me. If she's allowed that is, she is ready to pop at any moment and I'm not sure I'm equipped to help deliver a baby down in the Laines. Imagine how cool it would be to do that though? The first person the baby sees is Wondy Woman! The poor mite would probably try to clamber back in for another 9 months!

Nothing much more to report, I bought a new mascara on Saturday, the Maybelline one that has a comb rather that the traditional brush. Very good it is too. Erm, and I might write some erotic fiction for Shocking Fish - which could be very interesting indeed. Jackie Collins is a huge inspiration so I might draw on that, with a bit of the old Wondy charm thrown in...

Watch this space 'cos if I do it and it's a success you'll all be getting signed copies!