Crossroads
I read an article somewhere recently that some big companies regularly do a blog sweep of all the computer systems and more and more people are getting busted for slagging off their bosses and workmates at work - but hey, to be fired for blogging! How divine!
Better than to be fired for falling asleep on the job, though perhaps not as good as being caught photocopying your bits and sticking them up all round the building. Maybe marginally better than punching that bitchy woman who called me stuck-up on the chin and knocking her out cold though... maybe...
I swear to God, and I don't mean to put down the working mothers in this world - I may even eat my own words one day if I ever have any of my own, but I swear to you - two women had a conversation this morning over my head (literally) - about how one of them had found some poo in the corner of her kid's room! (A little 'nugget' apparently). How utterly utterly delightful for you, now please go away. I don't do babies so what makes you think I will enjoy the details of a nugget of poop tucked behind your daughter's Winnie-the-Pooh (how ironic) toy box?
Argh.
I have to say I feel as though I am at a crossroads in my life at the moment. Maybe it is the fact I will be 30 next year and haven't even got close to having pink hair yet - or maybe it's because I feel lost and - dare I say it - bored. I know this is not down to anything other than the fact that I work all the time and at a job that doesn't stimulate, merely pays the bills - and not very well at that.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to b*tch and complain - I like my workmates, love my friends and my boyfriend, I'm just unfulfilled. Damnit, I knew I should have tried harder in school! I've always had a strange complex about not having a degree like most of my friends and that's not to say I feel inferior to them - it's just always been my own personal issue.
So I'm still trying to do my spiritual research - I'm told you can't convert to Hindu, you have to be born Hindu which I think is damned unfair - I like the idea of praying to different Gods for different things but I'm sure there's more to it than that. I just fancy myself as a guru, I think I'd look cute in vivid kaftans with my head in a turban.
And I keep having the most realistic weird dreams that leave me reeling when I wake up. I don't eat cheese before bed so why is this happening?
3 comments:
Well as I keep telling you - you hold the key to your destiny - oh get me being all mistical. You have some of the best talents around and you always say things like "it wont pay the bills" and "but I have handbags to look after" and the like. STOP WHINGING and DO IT!!! Most people would kill to have an enth of the talent that you do! You are a wonderful friend and fantastic in bed (according to the writing on the loo cubicals in sertain night clubs in worthing) have a wonderful sence of humor and a set of norks that or the envy of many women in the free world. DO IT - I really hope that you manage to sell your house and go travelling as I think this will show you what its like to get out and do something that you want to do. I know that you are capable of SOOO much more than you currently belive that you are capable of doing. You know that everyone belives in you - maybe its time you started to belive in yourself.
Love to you always
SF
xxx
I loved SF comment abput the loo cubicles above that was sooo funny.
Your only young yet wondy you have the rest of your life to do exciting things.
SF comments are brilliant (and the loo comments...very funny!) :)
And you hit me with that one word "UNFULFILLED". Despite having The PK and a job that pays the bills and a roof over my head, it's just not enough. I want all that...but I want so much MORE too.
Greedy bitch, huh? ;)
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