Monday Blues

This weekend ruled! Well, the first half of it did anyway. I really don't want to talk about the second half because it was just horrible and almost resulted in me being a newly single woman. Does anyone ever feel like they're floating in space screaming out loud, and no sound is coming out? I do.

But down to business. Saturday night ROCKED. You know you're in for a good night when you ruin your make-up laughing so hard at a man rocking an afro comb in his hair. (We're not in 1982, man - and this ain't a Run DMC video).
I knew the Brighton & Hove number 22 bus was efficient but I didn't know it took you all the way to South Central LA for £2.80. I can't tell you how out of place this dude looked, bowling his way up the high street with his biatches in tow.

Laugh? I nearly peed myself.

Sadly, my normal comb sticking out of my own GHD'd locks didn't quite have the same effect. How is it that I haven't yet been shot in the street for laughing at people?

So we get to Boo's 'surprise' party and find that the wily old fox has already guessed about it weeks ago (that's our girl!), so when we all yelled 'Surprise!' and sang Happy Birthday the poor girl just sort of stood there looking bemused. I decided there and then that the worst thing in the world to me would be a surprise party. I made Fragglehump swear, if I'm still in the country, never ever to throw me one. She promised.

We forgot to take lots of photos but we got the odd one or two which I will publish later. Boo look gorgeous in a turquoise tie, nails and matching sneakers. She's so hot!

Fragglehump and I didn't really integrate that much with the group but did hook up with an old colleague of hers called Siobhan who was really really funny.

We, the three stooges, just sat on a sofa all night and took the piss out of everyone and everything in our path. There was the dancing loon in the poppy field frock, the over enthusiastic 'secret lemonade drinker' barman, the Thai bride, Mrs Apron with the Lego hair and the kid from Fame.

It sounds like we were being bitchy but - oh no - not at all. You've just gotta love people watching! I haven't laughed that hard in ages.

Turns out Siobhan is a secret Lidl fan and has even taken photos of the bargain bin like Fragglehump and I have. We have so much in common with her.

We walked home from the bar after midnight, made tea and got into bed in the lounge to watch Ricky Gervais' Animals. I guess it was just one of those nights where you had to be there, but it was so funny - the best time in a long time.

Then I went home on Sunday, got told off on the train for putting my feet on the seat, watched a young chav get arrested for being abusive on the train and generally seethed about Southern Rail in general and then went to Focus Do It All with Rocker.

The End.

Fin.