The House of Whacks

Ah, the familiar knot-in-the-stomach feeling that comes always around 4pm on a Sunday evening, the feeling of having to go back over the frontline, into the battlefield of the school playground. I may now be 28 and a proper grown up with my own credit card, but that feeling never goes, even when school has been replaced with a job that pays.

On Saturday morning I visited a real-life Porn Emporium and got to play with some of the newest products on the market. I must admit, I found this experience rather surreal - and a little sinister. Imagine the eyes of a dozen or so discontinued blow-up dolls following your every move from their positions on the top shelf... Like being in the House of Wax with an army of disgruntled Paris Hiltons.

The Porn Baron and I came up with some rather cool names for some of the new range and although I cringe at some of the so-called 'sexy' words we tossed back and forth between ourselves, I think we came up with some little crackers.

I was lucky to get an insight into the world of senior-management and it's blimmin' hard work. I now respect The Baron's work far more and can understand why he sometimes doesn't leave the office until 9, 10, 11pm at night. And the myth that he just sits about snickering at a vast array of willies has been dispelled. Respect to the man you know as Shocking Fish.

Tonight's homework is to knock up the blurb for four of the new products so the packaging can be done in the near future. Hey, and also my descriptions have been immortalised on a couple of Vibrator boxes, so I'm a very very very small fish in the porno pond, but a fish nonetheless. Are you proud, Mum?

In the evening we went to a BBQ at Digger's house, where I got to meet some of Rocker's work colleagues. I spent the majority speaking to the girlfriend of one of the guys, a half-Swiss, half-Thai girl, who was really interesting actually. Rocker drank two bottles of something potent and we drifted home together on the train. A good night, had by all.

Today I slept in until midday and had a nightmare about a flight to South Africa. Now I'm just chilling out with The Poseidon Adventure. I love it when a non-planned weekend comes together...