What the Bleep does he know?
In comes to something when your Life Partner reveals, time after time, the fact that he doesn't known even the basic things that make you tick. When pushed he would tell you that 'Celebrity Gossip' is my one love. Erm, actually no. Does it really take a genius to work out that movies are my first love?
Maybe I kid myself that I'm in possession of a multi-faceted personality, that the most prolific part of me is not a slavish lust for all things gossip. I would never deny my joy at cracking open a brand new copy of HEAT magazine, I love it.
But I also enjoy World Cinema, arthouse, art, literature, travel. I like philosophy. I like music and theatre.
So why must I always feel as though I have nothing to offer or no passions, beyond the superficial? I think it's pretty easy to work out what is important to me. No-one else has ever seemed to have a problem with grasping this. I'm tired of constantly putting the things I love on hold.
All the things I like doing to relax, such as reading, blogging, watching the films I like are a no-no. If I blog I'm spending too much time on the computer and I'm apparently 'obsessed'. If I read, I am a 'bookworm'. The films I like are always classed 'shithouse' so we always end up watching the same old tired films.
I've got a pile of films including What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? and Kung fu Hustle that Mr Bojangles has leant me which I'll only get to watch if I ever get some time on my own. Apparently working hard and long hours does not earn me the right to chose what I want to do and if I do try to do the things I want, I am not working hard enough to keep our relationship ticking over.
I am lucky to have somebody who comes home and cooks for me and makes things nice for me, I'm not disputing that but I will not have my creativity stifled by anyone.
Why can the person I love not realise that I'm trying to better myself? I am trying to find meaning in this humdrum life. If I want to write, whether people are interested or not, I will do so. Life isn't about walking on eggshells and watching your Ps & Qs. I will say what I want and do what I want.
Fin.
4 comments:
I gave up waiting for approval awhile ago. I took to doing what I wanted to do and after some awkward adjusting time she seem spretty content with the "new" me. The way I see it, if you aren't ignoring life while you're doing it and the house is kept and the bills are paid then you are probably ok.
A few years ago, while I was at uni, I was talking to my boyfriend about a class I'd been to. His response was: "Oh right, yeah, I forgot you go to uni." !!!
I think if you liked all the same things and did everything together life would be pretty boring. It's healthy to have your separate interests- Actually, I've got too much stuff on this I'm going to e-mail you! :P x
Wondy, all I can say is life is too short to take any prisoners. Say what you mean and mean what you say. You have a gift, don't waste it. Keep writing, even if its just your blog.. And don't be told otherwise... ... or gingerninjamummy will be there at the school gates to sort out the bullies
Life is short and lots of people love you. Be you, no matter what. Enjoy life YOUR way and everything just falls into place. A good thing is not good enough if you are sacrificing YOU!
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