The Palace, Baby

Yesterday was a glorious day - the sun was shining, the birds were singing, Her Madge decided on a sassy little emerald number to wow the crowds.

We arrived at 3 pm on the dot, rendezvous time and joined a crowd of literally hundreds of people. It soon became apparent that this was going to be the premiere people watching event!

As we were led through the Palace gates, a mummy duck and her chicks crossed the busy road in front of the palace, navigated the Changing of the Guards display unscathed and headed into the grounds as bold as brass. Highlight of the entrance!

Then we walked through the actual Palace itself and I stood on tiptoe as I walked past an ornate mirror (the Royals must be on average seven foot high) - so you could say the top of my head has been reflected in a real-life mirror in a real-life palace!

As we walked out into the gardens we got to walk down a sweeping staircase and the grounds themselves revealed themselves before us. Herds of wildebeest swept majestically... ha ha not really, a Fawlty Towers reference there for those in the know!

Actually, the grounds themselves were relatively 'vanilla' but guessing this is because there are so many events there throughout the year. We did get to have a nose around though, first to the tea tent (au naturellment) where it was only right and fair to nibble delicately at a bona fide cucumber sandwich!

And you may have thought, as I did, that these only existed in dreams and Enid Blyton stories. Well, no siree they are alive and kicking - and delicious I might add!

Then it was off the Royal portaloos, which were v. posh but sadly lacking in gold toilet paper. We wandered around looking at ladies in hats and mentally giving them marks up (or down) for effort. I give Wondy Mum 11/10 whilst my own effort I fear was a mere 6/10.

All in all a lovely afternoon was had by all. To answer the question no doubt burning on your lips - did I meet Madge? Hm. No I didn't.

The National Anthem announced her arrival as she descended the staircase into the gardens, but sadly she was but an emerald green dot on the landscape. An hour of trying to peer over rows and rows of desperate people with the same intention as us resulted in a brief glimpse of HRH - who is very small and very pale, but beautiful nonetheless!

And whilst this went on the orchestra played (bizarrely) the entire 007-theme back catalogue. Not that I'm complaining, to me that was the best thing. Live and Let Die being my personal favourite.

So we had a very good day and are glad we went but I am a little disappointed to tell the truth that we had to share Wondy Mum's special day with 2998 other people.

Frankly, if I could of had my way the crowd would have parted and Wondy Mum would have had a private audience with HRH, whilst the others stared agog - because that is what she deserves.

Mind you in the same fantasy I would have nipped behind the Royal Hydrangeas with HRH The Duke of Edinburgh or 'Phil' as I like to refer to him, so I am clearly delusional.

A big thank you to my mum for inviting me in the first place and for providing me with my hot outfit. I love you mummy!