Wind of Change

I feel like I am changing in some small way and have been changing for the last few weeks. Not in a bad way, I think for the better - others might disagree - but I like the new me. It's hard to put a finger on what it is that has changed but I think I have realised that we all play an important role in somebody's life and if we do nothing else at all, ever, in life - than touch one person, we have achieved something great.

I know I can do something great with my life if I just get up and do it. For too long I have been almost numb because of all the so-called bad luck we have been having financially and with the house, taking each day as it comes and sometimes I've felt like we are barely hanging on, than one false move will sent me flying into the jaws of hell - but there is no worse hell is there, than hating life and wishing all your days away?

My writing has stalled already but I know it's confidence I lack and I'm trying to work on that. People have faith in me. I can't let them or myself down. I just wish it came naturally to me but I guess it doesn't come naturally to anyone, even the literary greats. Even Truman Capote said, on the difficulty of writing: "Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it."

How about starting a book?

About the changing thing. I think it really is as simple as realising my worth. Often we get into things and forget who we are. I like to be seen as an individual, not just as part of a couple.

I absolutely love Rocker, that has never been in doubt, but I believe it is important to also be your own person. It's easy to get in at the end of a day, kick off your shoes and forget that you have things to say too. When you find yourself getting to know new people, who actually want to know what you think it makes you look at life from a different perspective.

And I like this new perspective.