Fuck You Friends Reunited

I cannot tell you how much I hate the website Friends Reunited. It totally blows and makes me so cross I find myself spitting at the screen and clawing at my own face.

I haven't logged into my account since probably about 2002, and now I remember why.

"Oh, I've had a baby"
"Look, I'm engaged!"
"I've just been promoted to King of the World"

Ugh. Why don't all those fuckers who made me feel inadequate about myself for a decade all just roll over and die? So you live in the leafy suburbs of some London (erm) suburb - well, whoop-de-doo for you.

You earn £750, 000 a minute being a twat for a company that requires you check your soul in at the door? Good for you.

Oh, the boy I was crackers about who used to coo over 'the eyes man, look at the eyes' teaches English in Bangkok? Lovely, I'll be in Bangkok in November, let's hook up. We can compare bloated nearly-middle aged bellies and giggle at the necking sessions we used to have in your bedroom, which actually had posters on the ceiling.

Oh, Gimpboy, remember how you played the drums for me and I nearly passed out with embarrassment/excitement? Remember not wanting commitment? Remember when I snogged your nemesis to piss you off? That put paid to that, didn't it?

Ah, fond fond memories.

I kept maybe one friend from my school days. I remember now why I made that conscious decision. Or maybe I didn't choose that, maybe no-one wanted me because I was too 'weird'? Yes, I have actually been told that, in College by a person I still bump into occasionally.

Come to think of it, not one of those obnoxious bitches have ever even tried to contact me. I wish one would so I could reject her.

My School days were the worst of my life, followed closely by the College days that sucked marginally less only because my being a 'loner' was construed by boys as being 'enigmatic'.

Me, Enigmatic? Imagine me trying to pull that off now.

Thank God I'm not bitter, eh?

Or else I'd really let rip in this post, about fucking stupid Friends Reunited.