Guestspot: Rocker Contributes to Blog Shocker

Because I'm too lazy to write myself tonight, I bring you - a boy's perspective.

Rocker - on Thai Massage:

Today I rose from my slumber at 2.30am again still not getting used to the time difference and bid good morning to the bed bugs that had so thoughtfully drained half a pint of my blood in the night and didn't even have the decency to have fetched me my morning paper in return so i was extremely unamused until general Klong and his army of ants who live in the bathroom pointed out that at the ungodly hour of 2.30 am the morning papers were not yet off the press i thanked the General for his impudent advice and set about the days events which included a wonderful idea of having a two hour Thai massage which at the princely sum of 5 pounds seemed a steal. I was first presented with a pair of shorts reminiscent of what you had when forgetting your PE kit at school and ushered to the changing rooms this i did then returned in my finest 1966 Bobby Moore specials and prepared for the soothing experience which i soon found would horrify a hardened gestapo agent and just for good measure there was this wonderfully soothing tiger balm oil which did wonders for my bed bug bites after what seemed an eternity I made my way back to my room to spend the rest of the day in traction. However on the plus side after just two days in Thailand i am now fluent in Thai here are a few examples of phrases and actions.

English: Good morning
Thai: Please could I have a tuk tuk

English: Looking across the street at an interesting Temple
Thai: I would like that tuk tuk to screech to a halt and follow me around for three blocks offering me tours to ping pong shows and mickey mouse jewelry stores.

English: Sitting admiring the view on the Khao San Road sipping a coffee
Thai: I would love nothing more than be shown every fine example of lighters that look like male genitalia and mutant ninja turtles.

English: Browsing the stores at your leisure
Thai: for the love of god call me a tuk tuk!!!!