Playing Catch Up

Today is our last day in Bangkok, tonight we board the 22.00 pm sleeper train to Chiang Mai, in the North of Thailand. A city apparently famous for its mountains, trekking opportunities and ancient temples.

As our stay in Bangkok draws to a close, I find myself misty-eyed. Although Bangkok is not an easy city to love, this smelly, filthy, noisy place will always have a special nook in my heart.

So far I have been most idle at keeping you up to date on our trip so here is what I have missed, with full colour photographs as promised:

Wednesday 8th November

A relaxing day in which we decide it would be a super idea to drag our weary white bodies to the Forensic Museum, located atop the main hospital in Bangkok. The fact that Rocker and I would willingly embrace such macabre activites should give you an insight into our matching characters.

This museum, paired with it's sister museum, one cheerfully dedicated purely to infection, was fascinating but not in any way what I was expecting. Photographs and photographs of mangled corpses happily line the first corridor as you enter, labelled simpy with things such as 'Death by Motorcycle' and 'Suicide by Razorblade'. All dreams of CSI-style insight crash out of the window at this point as it is clear this is just an excue to showcase pickled bodyparts.

Cut to the last exhibit and we find two mummified corpses standing in phone-box style cabinets, apparently both put to death for the crime of Rape. Needless to say I didn't feel this an appropriate photograph to use for the family Christmas card and high-tailed it out of there sharpish.


Thursday 9th November

We travel to the ancient city of Ayutthaya, once the capital of Thailand for over 400 years. Led by Ronnie Corbett's Asian twin, with the same line in jokes, we made our way around the temples, climbed atop ancient ruins and stood barefoot before yet another great Buddha.

Afterwards we were swept to an awaiting boat to digest a traditional Thai lunch and enjoy a three hour cruise back to Bangkok.

Met the Germans by chance beside a shoe stall and ended up going for cocktails by a converted pink VW Beetle Van.


Friday 10th November

Another unfettered day in which we walk and end up wherever we end up. Discover a real gem not five minutes from the hotel, The National Gallery. Spend a good few hours chin scratching like a pro in front of a virtual cornucopia of traditional and contemporary Thai artwork. In my element as I circle many mind-boggling pieces, one entitled 'Prostitute Schoolgirls' seems particularly vexing. I pretend I know exactly what it all represents.

We then wander along to The National Museum, which we learn is about to close in just one hour and so we race around, inhaling all we can about the history of Thailand. Promise ourselves we will be back to finish the tour.


Saturday 11th November

Another kamikazee tour, this time to the floating market, folowed by a trip to a Crocodile farm and then the famous Bangkok Rose Gardens (which I have never heard of).

The market itself is a hodgepodge of stalls selling everything you never knew you wanted, bizarre fruits and strange noodle dishes that blow your head off. There is no such thing as browsing, for if you make eye contact with a stall-holder this means you have automatically entered into an agreement to buy everything on his stall. If you refuse they mutter obscenities underneath their breath in Thai as you walk away.

It's enough to put a girl off shopping altogether.

At the Crocodile farm we first were forced to endure an excruciating magic show followed by an even more puzzling elephant show, which we could only stomach for mere minutes. The history of the Thai people's relationship with these magestic beast is one thing, but consider it slightly tarnished when the finale of the show is a world cup style scenario, in which the elephants are forced to place football.

We fled our group then to tour the rest of the 'zoo', choosing to avoid the actual crocodile show - I don't need to see grown men wrestling crocs in this lifetime believe me, unless of course the crocs get their own back, then call me.

All in all, said zoo seemed rather sad, a shadow of something that may have once been great. I left angry anyway after witnessing the tigers being poked with sticks to pose for photos with fat tourists such as myself. Mental note not to be involved in anything in Thailand again involving animals, unless it is clear they are not mistreated.

Last stop the Rose Garden which funnily enough for all its grandeur has about four rose bushes. We were hustled into a traditional Thai show to watch traditional Thai dancing but we soon escaped to mingle amoungst the trees and plants, like retired folk twice our age. I like a nice garden to amble through, see.


So there my friends you have it. Lots of action packed days full of culture. And wouldn't you know it - Blogger is being a pain and won't let me post pictures. Bollocks to that...