Tea Leaf, Thief

What the hell is it with people who can't make a good cup of tea? I've met maybe two people in my life who know how I like it but beyond that, there is a total lack of skill in the world out there regarding making a good cup of tea.

First off, I must explain. Tea makes my world go round. I love it. I could give up anything else. Anything. But not tea. It makes me happy, it makes me feel grounded and it makes me human. Without I'd be (more of) a growling, snapping harpy.

I drink a hell of a lot of tea. Less now I don't work in an office, but usually that is one of the best things about the job. Being able to drink a cup on the hour, every hour. That and the inane email conversations via internal email, but that's another story.

So it pains me when I visit somebody and they offer me a cup of tea and I get a weak, milky monstrosity. It makes me want to scream and throw the cup. If I say, "Can I have it strong, please?", they say "Oh, ok, I'll just leave the teabag in".

No, no, NO!

Note to Medieval Girl: Not in the super super strong Irish tea way, I'm talking leaving a teabag in the cup which is 50% milk, 50% hot water. That's not tea, that's hot milk. Argh.

This is my guide to the perfect cuppa:

• Get teabag, put in mug. Preferably a pretty mug which is slightly bigger than average.
• Put in water.
• Leave for 3-5 minutes.
• Remove teabag.
• Insert a 'dash' of milk. A 'dash' is just like a quick jerk of the wrist, yeah?
• Stir.
• If tea is the colour of Jodie Marsh - you're done!

How hard can in be?

I'm also very addicted to those foam Banana sweets. I have just eaten my body weight in them. Perhaps it's the sudden surge of colourings into my bloodstream that has lead to this rant about, um, TEA.

*sigh*