Centipedes

I can't sleep.

The usual things keep me awake: Immortality, Keanu Reeves, Centipedes.

I say centipedes beause my boyfriend saw a giant centipede crossing the road the other morning. I imagine, with dread, a real giant centipede tipping his hat and mexican waving his gratitude as Rocker cheerfully lets him pass.

Why did the centipede cross the road?
50% off at Clarks shoes.

Now every single creep in the darkness signals a hundred tiny feet tiptoeing toward my side of the bed.

Please go away.
If I knit you fifty pairs of glittery leg warmers will you leave me be?

At least it gives me something new to worry about, besides those blasted plotting penguins.