Express Yourself
Whenever I lay my head down on the pillow these nights, I am struck by a weird feeling. I am actually looking forward to waking up to a new day.
Not that I have never felt that way before, but usually when I go to bed I'm out within seconds, so physically and mentally toasted that I can't see straight. Working two jobs and worrying all day long will do that to a girl.
I feel lately like something fundamental has changed within me and I'm ready now to face life. I can't put a finger on what it is but it's almost as though I am starting to mutate into the kind of person I want to be. I want to be a writer, and an artist. I want to walk barefoot across the earth with a soul as clear as diamonds. I don't care if I'm no good at any of these things and I certainly don't care if nobody else gets it.
When I go back to a desk job to pay the bills and I have to go back to paying utilities and doing the mundane stuff I will remind myself of this feeling. I will take myself by the scruff of the neck and say: "Remember when you thought you could take the world on, and win?".
I don't want to go back to just being a number in a system. I want to express myself in every way.
And from today, I will.
2 comments:
You are a writer and an artist. You are whatever you want to be. Plus, just a tad of worldly advice from a lowly art major... no one has to get it. Whatever you create is your own. People take what they can from it and leave. They don't really ever get it. ;) Good luck in your endeavors! I'd love to see some of them.
I completely agree. You should do what makes YOU happy. When you return to the "real world" it doesn't really have to change things. It is hard not to let the stress and strain of "life" get to you, but you can keep up with the little things that allow you some sane time to yourself.
I know I am hardly one to talk about staying sane or keeping time for themselves, but I know what I am talking about even if I don't take my own advice.
Your posts since you have been away have been wonderful. It is changing how you think of the world in a beautiful way.
By the way - last night I dreamed I was suddenly going to Ireland at the last minute and I was completely panicked because I was trying to get online so I could find your phone number and call you to tell you I was coming! You featured in a dream!
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