Monday, February 12

Bones

I’m 29 and I’m falling apart.

My bones ache, I’m tired all the time and I’m just basically a horrible mess. Is it winter blues turning me into a redheaded version of Ugly Betty? It must be.

Because I’m sure I haven’t felt this bad in a long time.

My main issue is the aches and pains. I feel about 90. I look about 56. Every time I get up from sitting down I hobble. I think it’s the new shoes that did it, the funeral shoes? They are so cute, but I swear they’ve crippled me. Before I know it I’ll be sweeping into Clark’s for a sensible pair of flats, perhaps with a thick buckle across the front to keep them from slipping off.

When I get to that stage, and I’m not turned on by a glittery pump, please please somebody shoot me.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay this happened to me already. I am flats girl all the way. I WANT to wear sexy heels, but every time I try them my feet KILL KILL KILL me.

Rainypete said...

Flats are the way to go. I think heels were created as a torture device.

And as for your appearance, bollocks. You don't look a day over 42

**ducks to avoid funeral shoe**

(Sorry, couldn't resist)

Chica said...

Those shoes are worth the pain. I totally covet them. My 'shoot me now' point is if you ever find me listening to a Phil Collins' Love Songs compilation x