The best bits shamelessly stolen from Popbitch this morning:


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A creature which looks like a cross between a monkey, kangaroo and a cat has been spotted running around Salisbury Plain.
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>> Kevin the monkey <<

No, not Britney's husband

A Colobus monkey called Kevin escaped from Belfast Zoo last week after an argument with his Dad. He spent the week hiding in trees behind the zoo before returning. The father-son feud is continuing though, and zoo staff are keeping the pair separate until they find Kevin a new home.

Colobus monkeys usually live in Africa, and show friendship by belching in each other's faces (much like Big Brother contestants). They are also excellent weather forecasters, because they go quiet when it's about to rain.


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Footage not shown on Celebrity Love Island: Rebecca Loos coming out of the toilet, wiping Callum Best's spunk off her t-shirt and licking her fingers .
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Old Jokes' Home:

Q: What did the German watch repairer say to his watch that would only go 'tick, tick, tick'?
A: Ve have vays of making you tock.