Potholes In My Lawn

I am really beginning to feel a little fucked off at the moment, pardon my french. I am probably spending too much time dwelling on this and ultimately will make myself feel worse anyway but... dammit, I am sick of people trying to push me around!

I have two friends in particular who are guilty of this, and just lately it's got to the point where I feel like I can't laugh it off anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love them both and their pushing is just because they care, I know that, but one or both of them are going to find themselves on the receiving end of a very fuity mouthful if they're not careful!

I can be quite quiet sometimes, believe it or not, and sometimes I think people construe this as stupidity, I don't know but I can assure you, my silence is just taking a step back to observe what is going on around me. I very rarely give an opinion I haven't thought through thoroughly first and I don't believe in speaking for the sake of speaking.

As a result some people must feel that I need guidance in every little thing I do, from what I should be eating, what would be good for my career, what would give me better skin, etc, etc (example: "I tell you what you need to use on your skin, Christa, use this, it'll make you look much better..." or "You know, Christa, you really shouldn't eat that stuff, you should be eating this instead and doing more excercise...") - and this isn't even my mother speaking! Hell, even she wouldn't get away with saying that stuff to me so I ask myself, why do I let my friends?

It isn't anyone you know, not my beloved Fragglehump or the sublime Shocking Fish, not them because they know my faults and they know my best points and they take me for what I am. It's not my old friends or any of my male friends, just two people I find in my life that I didn't exactly chose, and while I value them, I think now they can F**k Off!

Phew, that feels better!

Sometimes I know I don't stick up for myself enough, lately I've just felt too tired to fight with people. Strange as I used to live for screaming rows! Bring back the old fighting spirit that's what I say!