The thumps don't work

I'm not one to promote violence towards anything but Mariah Carey CD displays but Fragglehump got into a real fight at the weekend! SO proud!

Read all about it here:


I really must learn when to stop laughing....
.....Bollom and I got in our first real live fight.

Yes, Bollom. If it was going to happen, it was going to involve Bollom and a box of chips.

I always thought getting punched in the face would hurt more than that, maybe it was the best part of two bottles of rose I had consumed, maybe it was the laughter, or maybe lesbians just don't know how to punch. Either way, I lost a box of chips that I will never get back.

Bollom escaped with a bit of light strangulation, and a life time worth of wondering where her beloved chips went.


This is Bolloms account of the night: To avoid any confusion - 'I'm Bollackers'

last night, me and bollackers got twatted on the stiene. i dont remember much except for the fact that our assailant was a midget she-male. lets call her linda. i dont know what the fuck happened, i was staggering towards re-fried chicken, bollackers and sanchez in tow. i turned and saw linda and her suprisingly attractive girlfriend. i uttered the words you have beautiful eyes to this violent hermaphrodite and we began to engage in amicable slathering banter. 'i fought you was a bloke' i mumbled ' i'm really sorry', she was cool. 'ill prove it she said, ripping open her diadora sweater as her lanky girlfriend looked on. sure enough a tiny pair of mounds.... more slathering banter with brewing aggressive undertones occured as boll and sanchez steered me forth to re-fried chicken. there is a blank. ...we stand once again on the stiene .... i reach for bollackers chip box and help myself to a a crusty wing. chewing on the cud of a battery battered chicken and greasy fries. my full moon carnivorous giant mandible crunches down on delicious meat linda and her girlfriend come over. words are exchanged, 'look shes not a bloke'. ' but im not im a girl' ..but you even sound like a bloke' .. then linda says something, eveything becomes slow-motion as bollackers releases one of her infamous honking cackles. chips go flying as linda unleashes a torrent of exploding anger ' what the fuck are you laughing at' she yells lunging for us. 'who the fuck do ya fink you are?....'THHWWACKKK ' bollackers is caught up in the scuffle. we all back away. i wonder where our food has gone. lindas girlfiend tries to get linda to calm the fuck down. i sway and start to gnaw on my re-fried chicken. it tastes delicious. suddenly i feel im alone but not alone. i hear bollackers and sanchez with raised voices. i wonder where the box of chips has gone... round two. i hear myself saying' but i thought we could say hello in the candy bar' im genuinely disappointed. linda lunges for me and grabs my throat, her arms flail around and i feel the softness of her anorak. something tells me shes done this before, im shocked, upset and impressed all at the same time . i push her off me as her girlfriend screams at her. sanchez and bollackers jostle with linda, we all shout. angry shouts, violent homosexual shouts.. linda and her girlfriend stride off. sanchez is trying to pacify bollackers. linda makes for bollackers, she leaps at her. bollackers takes a beating