Jism't She Lovely?

Someone’s jizzed all over the carpet in our office.  We think it’s the new FC trying to write a twisted love note to Boy Mad, but we have no solid proof.

Images of a Mr.Bean-like figure standing on a table using his love truncheon to write words of love on the floor are flying through my mind right now and I’m not altogether sure I’m not going to vomit.

What kind of twisted parallel universe is this where thoughts like this run through our minds?