Rocker - on The Bridge Over the River Kwai:

A very early start today we arose at 6am (11pm GMT) and got ready for the trek into the unknown. After boarding a minibus of which I had no idea could reach speeds in excess of mach 2 we arrived at the bridge over the river Kwai. Joy upon joy not a tuk tuk or novelty lighter in sight! The museum had some very good artifacts but we did not have too long to view them as every destination had a time limit so we made our way to the bridge which you can stroll across. Alas every tourist in the eastern hemisphere of every nation had the same idea and the walkway over the bridge was a thoroughly inadequate 1ft wide which ment whenever encountering a tourist coming in the opposite direction you had to leave the walkway and go on the bare railway sleepers playing Russian Hopscotch after deicing with death over the aptly named death railway and loosing my lighter and 20 cigarettes into the rive 50ft below we made our way to the next destination.

The waterfall fantastically majestic as in lord of the rings until the spell was broken by Gwen and Cryil from Scunthorpe Dressed in his and hers TK Max thong bikini specials with the war cries "EEE int it grand lovely lovey tha loves this more than any pig and that's saying summat!" so we left there and raced off at warp speed to the tiger temple where the tigers apparently were Buddhist and ate no meat I fear it will not catch on with mother nature since they were made the top of the food chain on the continent of Asia. we also saw a very small Burmese baby bear that kept up it's warm Burmese welcome by tearing a bloody great hole in my t shirt nearly taking my right love handle with it. Two hours later we were back in lady boy city.