My best friend Yo-Yo Knicks met her hero last night at the theatre. Who was this special person, this surreal hunk of celebrity wonder? It was.......dum dum dum........

DUM.... (shout in background - "GET ON WITH IT FOR F**K'S SAKE!")

It was... Leslie Grantham*!

(!)

Ever since we were mere slips of girls, Yo Yo has had an unquenchable lust for Leslie 'finger sucking' Grantham**.

Dirty Den was the epitome of thebad boy, the jack the lad, wheeler dealer, naughty man with a heart. Yo Yo loved him. And last night her dreams were finally fulfilled. She is now whole.

Dear sweet Jesus.



* For all those non-Brits, Leslie Gratham played Dirty Den in hit soap Eastenders, and was in fact in the first episode. He's the first person you see, you see? Why people bothered to tune in for episode two after that, beats me, but Eastenders to this day is still very popular, though how much more of Pauline's whinging AND her cardigans I can take, I just don't know...


** It doesn't stop there, I'm afraid. Leslie Grantham recently got himself involved in a nice bit of juicy tabloid scandal when he went online, fiddled with his plums a bit and, for his party trick, sucked his own fingers seductively.

The best bit was, while trying to seduce this mystery online 'girl' who he had never met before, he proceeded to slag off each and every one of his Eastenders co-stars, including Dame Babs Windsor (IS she a Dame?) of Carry On fame.

Big mistake, Gratham! (Oi, Gratham NO! and all manner of other lame catchphrases). So the bosses caught wind (or opened up the Screws of theWorld over their Ready Brek one Sunday morning) and promptly axed him. For axed, please read killed him off (again) - for Dirty Den died, not once -but twice!

The moral of this story? If you're going to film yourself sucking your own fingers for the world to see, don't slag off you colleagues while you're doing it. (Get a blog instead and do it all on there...)