Carrie Bradshaw Lives On Inside Me

Being unemployed is strange. I enjoy it, for sure, as it affords me the luxury of knowing who Jeremy Kyle is and if I want to roll around in the back garden with the Muse (Lucy Fur), I can. But it is strange.

I should probably be enjoying it a whole lot more than I am (for 'enjoying' please read: 'utilising').

What I should be doing is cracking out the laptop at 8 am every morning and tip-tapping away at it until 4 pm when Wondy Mum returns from work. I should be writing acres and acres of crap with maybe a paragraph or two of sheer genius thrown in.

Ok, so I guess I have the right to be a lazy toad in that I worked two jobs for nearly a year and paid for it with my looks and personality but I can't help thinking that one day there'll be a knock on the door and on the doorstep will simply be a note (secured with a single arrow, been watching too much Robin Hood?) saying 'Oi! Get back to work!'.

Roll on Bangkok I guess, where the travels will really start. I won't feel so guilty and useless then I suppose as I will actually be 'experiencing life'. I do hope the Bangkok Hilton has internet access if I accidently get busted for smuggling drugs.

God, don't even kid.

I can't also help thinking, while I'm in my pondering mode, that to just go back to the same kind of job when I do settle down again would just be crazy, and that I need to use this next phase in my life to also decide what I want to do.

Wondy Mum alway told me I could be anything I wanted, and it's never too late to try something new, but I lack ambition and I lack imagination.

So far I've come up with these: Chocolatier and heroine of a small French village, Nurse (though I hate blood and I hate vomit and spit even more), Actress (but on stage and maybe later, in a sitcom called 'Wondy', which initially will be panned but will somehow find it's footing in the second series and will go on to be critically acclaimed), Rock chick like Kathleen Hanna of Le Tigre, Make-up artist.

See? I'm hopeless.

But at least nowhere in that list do you see Credit Controller or Call Centre Operative.

Ug.