Interview With A Fish

Ooh, just one more thing, if you do just one thing today - check out Shocking Fish's interview - by yours truly.

He's a fab, fab person - one of my best friends in the whole wide world - and he chose to have me at his fantasy dinner party - bagsy sitting beside Emily Pankhurst!

Great answers SF - you're the cat's meaow!

Wedding Belle

I am alive and kicking - just. If you were wondering, like.

On second thoughts, perhaps nobody was actually wondering and it's just like when you don't log into your emails for a few days and when you do, there aren't any waiting for you...
(Hmpf).

Anyway, I am here.

(No, over here - I'm the redhead - that's it, yep that's me!)

I've been to a wedding, of Rocker's cousin (and my friend) Cat. She looked lovely and the ceremony was really nice.

I'm not really a gushy sort of wedding lover - so I will just entertain you with a few snapshots of the event - and say this: they are a lovely couple who seem very right for eachother, so I wish them every happiness.



I think I pleased Rocker as well, by promising never to put him through the wedding thing. Not that I don't believe in it per se, it's just right now I don't think it's for me - which is great.

It's good to be able to make the decision not to do something that might be expected of me. I'm happy for anyone who does do it - but I excercise my right not to too, you know?

Anyway, a lovely day was had by all. Until I got a cracker of a migraine (down to my constant squinting due to my increasing short-sightedness, perhaps?) and ended up with my head down the toilet.

Nice.

So I was in bed by 9 pm.

Aren't I the Party Animal?!

Email of the Day

From my friend jongtaylor:

• "Stellar twins NASA/JPL NEWS RELEASE Posted: March 31, 2007
  The double sunset that Luke Skywalker gazed upon in the film "Star Wars" might not be a fantasy. Astronomers using NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope have observed that planetary systems - dusty disks of asteroids, comets and possibly planets - are at least as abundant in twin-star systems as they are in those, like our own, with only one star. Since more than half of all stars are twins, or binaries, the finding suggests the universe is packed with planets that have two suns. Sunsets on some of those worlds would resemble the ones on Luke Skywalker's planet, Tatooine, where two fiery balls dip below the horizon one by one. ------------------------------------------------------ How cool is that!!!"

Gotta love shared geekery, people.

Pressing Matters

Text of the Day, from Shocking Fish:

"What are your thoughts on latex pants?"

Well, where does one start?

Interview With A Vamp - Part 3

Third time's a charm…

Interviewer: the divine Chica, interviewee: Me!

• What was your favourite subject at school and why?
  
  I was best at English and I loved my teacher, Mr. Dobson because he encouraged me to write for fun and told me I had a real talent (ha) – so that was my favourite class because I got to read interesting things and write to my heart’s content.



• Does Rocker read your blog?
  
  No he doesn’t. I have never hidden it from him and he has read it before but he decided he didn’t want to read it because it is so personal to me and he felt like he was reading my diary.
  
  I generally don’t write anything that might offend him though, just in case – and I don’t generally mention him in my blog because I feel like I’m talking about him behind his back.



• Kate Moss: zero or hero?
  
  Ooh a tough one!
  
  Kate Moss to me is one of the most beautiful women in the world and she deserves serious snaps for two things:
  
  1) Her dress sense. She throws things together like nobody else and always, always scrubs up well,
  
  And b) the simplest thing in the world: she has the sense to never open her mouth, thus creating an enigma. Even whilst being busted doing something terrible, she has never said a word about it, never gives interviews and is never caught uttering something stupid at the opening of an envelope.
  
  It’s genius.
  
  However. I don’t think you can really call her a hero just for that. She doesn’t look like a nice person, she doesn’t look like she can make you wet yourself for laughing, she goes out with an absolute loser, which isn’t setting the best example to her daughter – in short, I think she’s beautiful – but she ain’t no hero to me.



• What is your very favourite piece of clothing and why?
  
  I’m no clotheshorse and I hardly ever dress up in nice clothes because I don’t get the opportunity (or I don’t make the opportunity) so I might as well say, I love my jeans.
  
  I don’t have any one piece of clothing that never fails, sadly.
  
  But! There’s a big but coming…
  
  I love a nice accessory and I love statement jewellery – and have lots of faves. I like Perspex bangles and rings, chunky necklaces and I have a really beautiful new bracelet shaped like an octopus that Heather sent me, which I am in love with.

(see below)

• What has been your best birthday celebration?
  
  This is easy! I celebrated my 21st in a town called Bundaberg in Queensland, Australia – and I ended up jumping into a fountain in the town centre in my bra with this Canadian bloke I really, really fancied. It was superb!
  
  Basically, I was in Bundaberg for about three months picking sweet corn and peppers for a living and on my birthday we were supposed to work, but rain called it off – so my backpacking buddies and I went to the beauty shop and had our hair and nails done, I bought a new top and then in the evening they threw me a party at the local pub – and we rocked on into the night.
  
  There are pictures – and I look horrendous in all of them – but I had the best time.
  
  And at the end of the night I totally threw myself at the Canadian guy I fancied, but passed out before I got to his lips. Hmmm. We never did get it on after that…
  
  Loved every minute and those were the days, etc.
  

Thank babe, I enjoyed this - Chica's interview by me, coming soon...

Dinnerladies

In the grand tradition of ripping off my friends and jumping on the bandwagon, I bring you my very own fantasy dinner party line-up:

The 6 lucky people I would invite are, in no order of preference…

Barbra Streisand – She has long been my hero, as an actress and as a singer. I would probably just sit beside her staring, because I should imagine she has a great presence and she is the original Funny Girl.

Woody Allen – For his sense of humour (and so I can try on his glasses whilst chatting about how he made such a masterpiece of Annie Hall).

Tim Burton – I am in love with his vision and he is my favourite film director.

Alfred Hitchcock – Does this need an explanation? This man was a mystery to me and I want him there so I can pick his brains.

Haruki Murakami – My favourite author and an all round (I believe) fascinating guy. I’d seat him on my other side and ask him for advice on my ‘writing’.

Julian Barratt – Slightly biased as I have been sleeping with him for the past few nights in my subconscious, but in my opinion, he is the genius behind The Mighty Boosh and I love him as Howard Moon. The Boosh is my favourite comedy in a long time, if not ever – so I want to spend my time in his company, soaking him up.

Now, what to cook?

Interview With A Vamp - Part 2

I enjoyed being interviewed so much that I asked me old mucker Shocking Fish to do me - and he has! (Not literally - fnar fnar).

As follows:

• If you could change one thing in the world what would it be and why?
  
  I would like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony…
  
  (Tumbleweed)
  
  I suppose the obvious answer would be to change this hostile world we live in, into one of peace – and it would be nice but war happens for a reason and I have no idea how to change that. I’d like to think violence could be replaced by a good old-fashioned talking to – but I don’t know for sure.
  
  So I’ll say if I could change one thing it would be women’s negative attitudes to themselves.
  
  I’d like the fashion industry to take responsibility for its part in the Size 00 debate and refuse to use underweight models; I would go around doing my own self-esteem road shows and I would seriously like to look at sizing in UK shops as well…
  
  I’d like women of all ages to learn to love themselves – and it has to be possible!
  
  
• If you where to become ruler of the world would you be a ruthless dictator or a kind hearted leader and why?
  
  I would most definitely be a kind-hearted leader with a nice sideline in ruthlessness when needed… I would hate to be ruler of the world though so I’d probably crack under the pressure, start dressing like a bag lady and talking to myself.
  
  Start…? Ha.
  
  
• Do you believe in Keith Chegwin?
  
  There is no doubt in my mind that he is real and that he was sent by Xenu to heal us. He’s like the Easter Bunny and Santa all rolled into one, but more naked.
  
  
• The world is your stage, what is your talent?
  
  I’d say I’m a natural comedian (boom boom) but my real talent lies in detracting negative attention away from others by dropping stuff and taking the mick out of myself.
  
  I also make great cheese on toast and am quite good at colouring inside the lines.
  
  Hard to answer, because I really have no idea in the slightest!
  
  
• Milk, Milk, Lemonade round the back fudge is made, but who was the last person to add a little sparkle to your life and how did they do it?
  
  There are many people who add sparkle to my everyday life: Shocking Fish himself, Heather, all my Blogger friends, Rocker… but I have to say the person who has added the most recently is my luminous friend, Fragglehump who I never fail to have fun with.
  
  She totally accepts that I am a dufus, encourages me to take snapshots of everything and loves me like a fiend. And she has been there recently when I was upset about something, despite the fact that her life is way more hectic than mine at the moment.
  
  And I also want to do a special mention to my new friend Beanie, who I have been lucky enough to meet through Fragglehump and whom I also dig – because we have the same sense of humour and she is just beautiful.
  
  Even though I don’t know her well, I know she is going through something unbelievably hard but she still has a smile and a positive outlook – which is incredible.
  
  Inspiration? Not ‘arf.

Thanks SF - I love yoooooooo!

Interview With A Vamp

You might have already seen this “Interview Other Bloggers” meme floating around, but if not, the basic gist of it is that another Blogger writes 5 questions for you and you answer them.

It’s dead simple, like.

Here are my questions as posed by Heather:

• Where and how did you and Rocker meet?
  
  Rocker and I met at work in 2002, whilst we were both working for a cable company. I had just come out of something very messy with somebody else and we caught each other’s eye.
  
  We arranged a date but unfortunately had a blazing row before we actually went on it and ended up not going.
  
  We did become good friends after that shaky start though and remained so for a few months, whilst we both dated other people. Then one day something clicked and we got it on.
  
  That was five years ago.
  
  We are not a perfect couple by any stretch of the imagination (I don’t believe there is such a thing) but we have been through a lot together and we love each other.
  
  So there.
  
  
• If you could do anything in the world and money didn't matter, what would you choose?
  
  I would go back to school, travel the world (see question 4) and then when I was ready to settle back down again I would be running my own business, which would be a comic shop in Canada, probably Toronto, where I started.
  
  It would be a comic/book store with a coffee shop and I would encourage people to sit and browse all day. I would do it for the love of being a geek and I would embrace anybody who stopped by.
  
  I’d also be taking photography and art classes in the evenings.
  
  
• Okay, so why aren't you doing that?
  
  Money does matter, so that’s why I’m not doing those things. Maybe one-day things will change but right now I don’t have what I need to start my own business – or to give it all up to become a mature student.
  
  
• If you could travel to anywhere, other than Thailand, where would you choose?
  
  Japan (Tokyo and Osaka) would be my dream trip. I would also sell my soul for the opportunity to do a road trip across America in a classic car.
  
  There are so many amazing places I want to visit so I will simply list them:
  
  Rio De Janeiro, Brazil
  Reykjavik, Iceland
  Beijing, China
  Mexico City, Mexico
  Calcutta, India
  
  
• If you weren't a redhead, what would you be?
  
  I’d like to be a raven-haired beauty and that is what I would chose if I weren’t a redhead – but I wouldn’t actually change it for the world.
  
  Other people might comment that I really should have been blonde – I can be a bimbo sometimes, and no mistake.

OK, so those were my five.

Here are the rules, if you’d like to participate:

• Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me!”
• I will respond by e-mailing you five questions. I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all.
• You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
• You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
• When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Don't forget to post the rules!

UPDATE: I would also like to travel to:

• Santiago, Chile
• San Jose, Costa Rica
• The Congo
• Reykjavik, Iceland
• Warsaw, Poland
• Moscow, Russia
• Madagascar
• The Seychelles
• Casablanca, Morocco

Something Inside So Strong

My friend Chris made this. I think it's hysterical.

The Art of War

Sometimes you've just got to slap on the war paint and go get on with it...

(Collage by Heather)

For more 365 tomfoolery - go here and here...

Meme Time

Stolen from the Peanut Queen – because she has all the best stuff lately!

Here are the instructions:

1) Go to Wikipedia
2) In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year
3) List three events that happened on your birthday
4) List two important birthdays and one death
5) One holiday or observance (if any)
6) Tag 5 other bloggers to complete

Here goes...

Events:
1940 - Woody Woodpecker first appears, in the film "Knock Knock"
1963 - President John F. Kennedy is buried at Arlington National Cemetery
1980 - No Más Fight: Sugar Ray Leonard regains the WBC world welterweight boxing title in a bout against Roberto Duran

Births:
1965 - Dougray Scott, Scottish television and film actor
1971 - Christina Applegate, American actress (gotta LOVE Christina!)

Death:
1974 - Nick Drake, British singer and songwriter (b. 1948)

Holiday:
International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women (yey!)

Tagged:
Anyone who wants to do this – but I would like to see Shocking Fish's answers.

Widget

Stolen unashamedly from The Peanut Queen:

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Beauty Bear

Last night I had a lovely evening, impromptu though it was, for it was Doctor Lurve's birthday and we appeared in force at the squash club to celebrate his special day.

It was a nice evening because first off I got to see my lovely friend Ellie (AKA Fragglehump) - whom I gave not one but three boxes of rogue sex toys (left over from past assignments from Shocking Fish) - which were joyously accepted.

Let me tell you, nobody knows surreal until they have sat around with their own mother, struggling to shove a battery case between the legs of a day glo rubber teddy bear.

The things we do for friendship, I tell you.

And secondly, I got to finally meet Philippa - the awesome, cool Philippa.

She is so beautiful and lovely - but most importantly funny. Funny is good. In fact, I won't tolerate people in my life who don't know how to laugh.

Especially at my jokes.

Ha.

(Kidding.)

SAPPY BUGGER ALERT: I just also wanted to add, that it is a lovely feeling to know, that no matter what happens to you in life, you will always have certain friends who will still love you.

That really is priceless.

Chica's Kitchen

The above is a reference to the 1991 album 'Martika's Kitchen'.

(Martika was once a muse of Prince and a former child actor, starring in the motivational film “Be Somebody or Be Somebody’s Fool”, by everybody's hero, Mr. T.)

And close Wikipedia...

But I digress.

Today I want to write an appreciation post to my friend, Chica - who is just fabulous and I feel all glowy knowing I have her in my life, albeit virtually.

I love her for posts like this and this - but today I love her even more for her email entitled 'Winehouse' which read:

Dunno if you'll get this message on time but the Winehouse is on BBC now, with the funky backing singers!

How cool is it to have someone looking out for you like that? It's priceless.

Sadly, I did miss the Winehouse, being the lazy toad that I am, rising from my coffin too late to flick through the glorious Saturday morning line-up.

But that's not the point.

I would also like to take the time to add my two penneth (made-up word alert?) to the Size Zero debate and say I was pleasantly surprised by The Truth About Size Zero on Wednesday night.

Chica's post states the case much better than I ever can, but I wanted to say, as a lady with real lady lumps who is nowhere even near a UK Size 10, let alone a UK 4 - it was disturbing to say the least.

At a size 16 (at least) should I be burned at the stake?

I am a sensible woman and I do realise that I am nowhere near the ideal - and I could stand to lose a few stone - but I feel beautiful almost always, until I stop to compare myself to one of these skinny chicks or when I step into a clothes shop and it is made quite clear to me that I am a freak.

The programme had me weeping when it introduced us to the teen anorexics living in a home for kids with eating disorders and they started to talk about how it made them feel.

One 12 year old - two years younger than Philippa, just two years older than Frank - spoke about how she had to think about drinking a glass of water in case it made her fat!

I tell you, it did make me think I will do everything in my power to make sure both girls feel gorgeous and lovely at all times - though I'm sure it's not as simple as all that.

Anyway - here's a picture of Lovely Louise Redknapp (I respect her now) before (at size 8) and after (size 4):

Gruesome, isn't it?

The Monkeys Are Here!

Thanks to the Divine Heather!

Happy Sushi Birthday!

Ten reasons why I love Heather:

• She's beautiful with a capital 'B'.
• She loves travel as much as I do.
• She cares about lots of good causes.
• She knows where she's going in life - even when things look bad for a moment...
• She encourages me to be a better and more creative person.
• She gives good gift!
• She's a total MAC Whore - worse than even me.
• She loves her Savannah as much as I love my Lucy Fur.
• She also gives exceptionally good letter...
• And she has the owl hoodie - which I totally covet!
  

In short, she's one of my best ever friends and I don't think (I know) that I couldn't get by without her in my life - so I wish you the best ever birthday, babe and hope you have a lovely pampered day, with all the delicious gifts you deserve.

All My Monkey Dreams, Answered

"Heather said... I just bought two on Ebay. One is coming to you as soon as they arrive!"

Yey! I'm going to be a new mother - a Monkey Mother!

Never, Ever Forget

That you are beautiful!

Picture courtesy of the Divine Heather.

Technical Bitches

If your name hasn't yet been announced - have no fear - more Wondy's to follow tomorrow, once all technical glitches have been ironed out.

Stay tuned for the categories of: Best All-round Sex-pot, Best Newcomer, Best Potential Blogger, Best Artist, Best Old Skool, Best Royal and that old chestnut, the Lifetime Achievement Award.

Until then my friends, get your glad rags on and practice your speeches.

I love you all!

*Kiss and wave*

The Wondy's

Happy Oscars Night everyone!

I wish I could say I was sitting here typing this in vintage Chanel, enthusiastically swinging my Manolo clad feet - but I'm in jogging bottoms.

Sorry to spoil the illusion there...

Anyway, I think I have a fair idea of who's going to go home with a little man of their own but I absolutely wish the best of luck to the awesome Abigail Breslin for Little Miss Sunshine - I will smile all day tomorrow if that little lady wins.

LMS for Best Picture!

Oh, and somebody give Martin Scorsese an Oscar...

Which brings me to my point (there is one, yes) - tonight I'm handing out my very own awards: the Wondy's.

Yes, the Wondy's.

They are virtual awards, so you won't actually be able to store yours in the bathroom should you find yourself a winner - but it's the thought that counts, right?

And so... I will begin:

• Category of - Best Blogging Friend (Female)
  For being a wonderful Blog friend and an even better real time friend:
  ...and the Wondy goes to...
  Heather for Yummy Sushi Pajamas!
  
• Category of - Most Stylish (Female)
  For being not only fantastically funky but also a true sweetheart to me:
  …and the Wondy goes to…
  Chica for *Batteries Not Included!
  
• Category of - Best Compliments and Encouragement (Male)
  For understanding women and always helping them to focus on their beautiful bits:
  …and the Wondy goes to…
  Rainy Pete for Rainy Pete's Unbalanced World!

*Blogger is playing up with it's spacing on this post and I can't fix it, so I'll carry this on in a second - please bear with us while we fix this technical fault...